I love what you are about. I had a similar epiphany. For too long, I stopped writing. Not a practical use of time. Never gonna make any money. And all the other similar thoughts kept me away for two decades. And I was miserable without any understanding of why. But as my 40th birthday approached, I made a midlife bucket list. Two items. Play baseball again and write a novel. Playing in an old man wood bat league helped me out of the rut but writing the novel had the biggest impact on my mental health. It sucked. Straight refrigerator art only your mom would be proud of. But that didn’t matter. I was writing and I felt like my soul could breathe again. Sorry for the ramble but I hope you reach as many people as possible. Creativity needn’t be good or profitable to have immense value.
"I felt like my soul could breathe again." YES! Every time I try to "get serious" and stop writing, it's like I'm holding my breath. But when I come back to writing? It's like I can finally breathe again. I'm 31 and starting to think I should just stay where I can breathe. Congrats on your novel, Matt!
Definitely relate to feeling very stuck and frustrated in any niche. I’m looking at creativity in different ways now though. I love to write, but most of all, I am creating a life that allows me to express all the different aspects of me. I split my time between two vastly different worlds. I spend some of my time off-grid in Mexico, in the middle of nowhere. I am building my own little haven down there, co-creating community, a regenerative ranchito and campground, developing some amazing relationships with animals, baking sourdough over fire, making ferments and pestos and sharing them with the neighbours while being open to receiving any gifts they want to share. The rest of the time, I live in a high rise in Vancouver, where I spend more time with the love of my life (who still works at a regular job for now), am starting work on my second book, just started my Substack, am dipping my toes back into public speaking, and partner dance and learning percussion. I am creating a way of life that I didn’t know was possible and I know that my role is to bridge the many worlds I dance between. Now, I’m in the process of extending that to allowing an income to flow as well, through more connection, not through marketing. I feel like we still get stuck in a very narrow idea of creativity and I hope in 2026 we broaden our horizons.
Love this. I’m circling similar ideas in my own life and writing. In the age of AI, humanity’s only moat is to be more human. To me, my humanity is tied up in my ability to create. When the machines can run the other machines, can create output and feed the need for profit, companies are dropping their human labor forces fast. It’s a blessing in disguise, maybe. The Industrial Revolution taught us all to be cogs. To shape ourselves around the machine and play our part in generating profit. Now, AI is doing a lot of that for us. Now, we have to remember that we’re not machines, and we have to embrace our messy humanity and do the things AI can’t. Original, creative thought is still a uniquely human trait.
Love the create or die philosophy. I relate to this. I feel this creative energy or insight spewing into me. It bubbles up and wants to manifest into physical form. Some of this gets expressed into a painting and a piece of art wills itself into being, or into writing and content gets created. Yet, there are other ideas and concepts I've downloaded that aren't as easily transmitted and I haven't received instructions on how it wants to take form yet. This drives me crazy and I feel frustrated attempting to figure out how it needs to be expressed, what the final form will be, even though I know it will figure itself out within the doing.
The multipotentialite curse. "Channel all of this energy and creative chaos into a mission", Yes! My ideas and interests are obviously connected yet scattered along so many different disciplines. I've tried and failed and procrastinated. How do I bring it all together into a coherent project that allows everything to be held within it? I'm grappling with that now transitioning from psychedelic pharmacist to this next iteration that can hold all of me and grow with me as I and it expands.
And, the more I neglect it, postpone it, rationalize crafting it into perfection... something within me feels it's dying, decaying. This next iteration feels like life or death... if I'm not working on it, life feels dead.
When I first realised my talent lies with the arts, it was really confusing. I could hairstyle, do nails, write good literature and draw…… I just decided to go for what made my eyes light up no matter the situation—which is art. Now I also found a way to write about art.
I just found something I’m madly in love with, something I can never get tired of.
What? This is why I started writing too. This is insane, you’re the first person I see who states this as their motivation. I became a dad too and two years into the dad grind I figured it’s now or never.
It feels very liberating I must say. In my immediate surroundings I had no mentor, no one who inspired me, so I turned to the internet. Here it’s pretty easy to find people who are interested even in the weirdest stuff. Plus you have an outlet for your own thoughts too. What’s not to like. Haha.
This week, it took a lot of energy to break the inertia and “revive” my Substack. In spite of having my most consistent creative year OFF Substack, I still felt like a failure after not having shared much of my writing.
Your post made me feel like the pause I took from creating while sharing here was not a failure. To see someone deliberately pause their writing after sharing so well was reassuring and encouraging. Thank you!
I love what you are about. I had a similar epiphany. For too long, I stopped writing. Not a practical use of time. Never gonna make any money. And all the other similar thoughts kept me away for two decades. And I was miserable without any understanding of why. But as my 40th birthday approached, I made a midlife bucket list. Two items. Play baseball again and write a novel. Playing in an old man wood bat league helped me out of the rut but writing the novel had the biggest impact on my mental health. It sucked. Straight refrigerator art only your mom would be proud of. But that didn’t matter. I was writing and I felt like my soul could breathe again. Sorry for the ramble but I hope you reach as many people as possible. Creativity needn’t be good or profitable to have immense value.
"I felt like my soul could breathe again." YES! Every time I try to "get serious" and stop writing, it's like I'm holding my breath. But when I come back to writing? It's like I can finally breathe again. I'm 31 and starting to think I should just stay where I can breathe. Congrats on your novel, Matt!
Don’t hold your breath any more than you need to. You only get one life. Might as well enjoy your time here.
Hm, thank you for that. Let’s both keep at it!
Definitely relate to feeling very stuck and frustrated in any niche. I’m looking at creativity in different ways now though. I love to write, but most of all, I am creating a life that allows me to express all the different aspects of me. I split my time between two vastly different worlds. I spend some of my time off-grid in Mexico, in the middle of nowhere. I am building my own little haven down there, co-creating community, a regenerative ranchito and campground, developing some amazing relationships with animals, baking sourdough over fire, making ferments and pestos and sharing them with the neighbours while being open to receiving any gifts they want to share. The rest of the time, I live in a high rise in Vancouver, where I spend more time with the love of my life (who still works at a regular job for now), am starting work on my second book, just started my Substack, am dipping my toes back into public speaking, and partner dance and learning percussion. I am creating a way of life that I didn’t know was possible and I know that my role is to bridge the many worlds I dance between. Now, I’m in the process of extending that to allowing an income to flow as well, through more connection, not through marketing. I feel like we still get stuck in a very narrow idea of creativity and I hope in 2026 we broaden our horizons.
Love this. I’m circling similar ideas in my own life and writing. In the age of AI, humanity’s only moat is to be more human. To me, my humanity is tied up in my ability to create. When the machines can run the other machines, can create output and feed the need for profit, companies are dropping their human labor forces fast. It’s a blessing in disguise, maybe. The Industrial Revolution taught us all to be cogs. To shape ourselves around the machine and play our part in generating profit. Now, AI is doing a lot of that for us. Now, we have to remember that we’re not machines, and we have to embrace our messy humanity and do the things AI can’t. Original, creative thought is still a uniquely human trait.
Love the create or die philosophy. I relate to this. I feel this creative energy or insight spewing into me. It bubbles up and wants to manifest into physical form. Some of this gets expressed into a painting and a piece of art wills itself into being, or into writing and content gets created. Yet, there are other ideas and concepts I've downloaded that aren't as easily transmitted and I haven't received instructions on how it wants to take form yet. This drives me crazy and I feel frustrated attempting to figure out how it needs to be expressed, what the final form will be, even though I know it will figure itself out within the doing.
The multipotentialite curse. "Channel all of this energy and creative chaos into a mission", Yes! My ideas and interests are obviously connected yet scattered along so many different disciplines. I've tried and failed and procrastinated. How do I bring it all together into a coherent project that allows everything to be held within it? I'm grappling with that now transitioning from psychedelic pharmacist to this next iteration that can hold all of me and grow with me as I and it expands.
And, the more I neglect it, postpone it, rationalize crafting it into perfection... something within me feels it's dying, decaying. This next iteration feels like life or death... if I'm not working on it, life feels dead.
Psychadelic pharmacist? sounds awesome.
Your 12 year old self, what did she love? What did she dream of? What impact did she want to make in the world?
It’s hard to find your niche when you’re good or love so many things. It was hard for me too
When I first realised my talent lies with the arts, it was really confusing. I could hairstyle, do nails, write good literature and draw…… I just decided to go for what made my eyes light up no matter the situation—which is art. Now I also found a way to write about art.
I just found something I’m madly in love with, something I can never get tired of.
How did you find yours?
What? This is why I started writing too. This is insane, you’re the first person I see who states this as their motivation. I became a dad too and two years into the dad grind I figured it’s now or never.
It feels very liberating I must say. In my immediate surroundings I had no mentor, no one who inspired me, so I turned to the internet. Here it’s pretty easy to find people who are interested even in the weirdest stuff. Plus you have an outlet for your own thoughts too. What’s not to like. Haha.
Awesome man! Congrats hope you’re loving it as much as I am?
Love this! Putting it out there in public is both cathartic and caring because we see (and feel) how the sausage is made.
I’ll be re-reading this tonight
Amen, great analogy! Hope you discover some more insights?
Words that needed heard today. Thank you, and enjoy your hiatus.
🙏 thank you and glad it resonated. What stood out most?
This week, it took a lot of energy to break the inertia and “revive” my Substack. In spite of having my most consistent creative year OFF Substack, I still felt like a failure after not having shared much of my writing.
Your post made me feel like the pause I took from creating while sharing here was not a failure. To see someone deliberately pause their writing after sharing so well was reassuring and encouraging. Thank you!
Yeah I feel like teaching how to embrace lack of structure should be a thing in and of itself. Thanks for your feedback and reflections 🙏